Why?

Why don't I ever write anything on here anymore? I think about doing it everyday and, sometimes, I even open up the page and click "new post" but then I just sit there and stare and then decide to watch something on hulu. Ah, hulu...how did you become such a good friend! But last night I was reminded that I never post anything anymore and I thought, "ya know, maybe I should". So of course the first one back in 6 months is me writing about how I never write and now I will and we all know how that story goes. It's not a new story. It's an old story. Oft told. But maybe I can slip in some twists and turns along the way to make it more interesting. Or at least not extremely boring like most Clint Eastwood movies.

It's a Sunday morning and I am getting ready to go to work. By the time we go on hiatus, I will have worked four Sundays in a row. It is incredibly hard for me to complain about it since, if it were not for this job, I would be back in North Carolina crying in a corner about how I could not make it out there. Not that I am making it, but at least I am doing something! But still, it is a Sunday, brunch day, and I have to go to work. Which is where I am going now!

Wait For It...

It looks like I dropped the ball there on part 2 of the previous story. It did, in fact, really happen. And at one point Holly Hunter grabbed my hand and I was forced to "act" but then on the next take she completely changed her path and walked around me. I think I was bringing her down to the amateur level, which is a compliment to me as I am not even an amateur. I tried to hide in the back of the background but we were actually placed and that is where we had to stay. Me, right up front and center. I think they wanted to showcase the sweater I was given to wear: yellow floral prints. The clothes I came in were not good enough, apparently. I was told on the phone that I was to where clothes as if I was going to a revival or a church. I have been to neither but I have seen enough movies and enough episodes of Carnivale to get a good idea. But what they really wanted was a gathering of crazy people, not churchgoers. I found out about half way through my day on Saving Grace all the background that was there on this particular day was picture picked. And what did we all play? Sick, mentally disturbed people. So, in conclusion, the picture that I took at the casting agency, which, to be honest, I thought I looked awesome that day, made someone flipping through them think "sicko". Awesome.

Overall it was an interesting experience. I think it helps to do your job better if you know what it is like to do someone else's job. I mean, I'm not saying I should cut someone open or drive a forklift. I'm just saying, if those things were something I could do, then I would try them. Not that acting is easy. And not that I was acting. Oh, you know what I mean. I still call the casting number a few times a week and once in awhile something fits my description and I try to get through to get booked but all I ever get is a busy signal. I am not hungry enough I guess. I have to somehow will the phone to connect with only the power of my wanting. But instead, I just hit redial while I play games online until I finally get bored and go watch tv and make fun of the people in the background.

I am an "Act-Tor" Part One

Being without work for eight months really really really sucks. Really. Having work for three months at a time and then being out of work for eight months really sucks. But that is a whole other story. Having things really really suck is the reason I am trying new things to make things not suck but then I do things that are really strange and not me at all. What am I talking about, you say? Well, I am trying to be creative in finding ways to make some money, so about three months ago, I signed up with this casting company that casts extras and background. You are supposed to call an automated number and if you fit the category, you call whatever number is on the message. For awhile I called everyday because, well, a dollar would be more than I had earned since November, and plus, I thought it might be interesting to see what it is like on the other side. I have spent time sitting in an editing room making fun of background so, well, it's my turn! As I was saying, I called everyday for a while but nothing matched me. I am not "extremely fit and attractive" and I was not willing to dance topless on Californication, even for David Duchovny (plus I have really small, well, no one wants to see me dance). Eventually my calling slowed down and then just stopped completely. So you can imagine my surprise when I got a call out of the blue on Monday asking if I was free on Thursday to work on Saving Grace. I said "uh, sure" and the guy said "ok, I'll call back on Wednesday". Sure sure. I went about my day not ever expecting to hear from that guy again. Sure enough, he calls me Wednesday evening with another number I am supposed to call to get all the information. I have never really had any acting aspirations, aside from elementary school where I played a bookworm but I am almost positive I only got the part because I memorized the lines and no one else could. Quite the opposite in fact, I hate speaking in public and I don't like people looking at me. I guess I will really be doing this now.

To Be Continued...

Life in NC

I love going home to visit! I love living in California but I also love going home. North Carolina I called home for over two decades of my life and really, there is no place like it, at least not to which I have been (South Carolina is nothing like it, in case you were wondering). I was in a sushi place near the mall (what respectable southern mid-sized city does not love their malls) and on the inside, this could be Joe Sushi place anywhere, other than the fact that I am pretty sure this particular joint used to be a Mexican place but that is just because I am in the know. All of a sudden though, I hear a loud "yeehaww" type noise from the table in the middle and I hear "it's Jeff". I looked up because I wanted to know who Jeff was and I see a few of the guys at the table pointing. I follow the fingers to the television behind the bar only to see Jeff Gordon, famed (at least in these parts) Nascar driver and all around good guy (I made that part up, I do not know him) on the television. This really got the guys at the table excited, sort of like porn for the rednecks. It was at this point that I realized that my mom and I were actually the only ones eating sushi in said sushi restaurant. There was a college aged girl eating seaweed salad so I guess that will do.

You know you are in North Carolina when your directions to a location include, "turn right at the giant chair". So we went straight until we saw the giant chair. And then turned right. Even with those directions, I still might have missed the turn because I was looking for, you know, maybe a chair on the corner that belongs to a furniture market, or, I don't know really what I was expecting. But certainly not a giant statue of a chair. On a side note, this same town with the giant chair (and to be fair, it is a town famous for the furniture market) also had actual horse and buggies. You could have a horse and buggy ride around the giant chair.


I miss you guys!!

Enough

You know things are bad on your morning talk show when I would prefer to watch Jerry Springer. Let me back up. I hate the Today Show. Let me back up some more. I used to watch the Today Show semi regularly whilst dressing for work when Katie Couric was still the host. It was a non offensive, sometimes pleasant way to wake up and get the day going. Fast forward to now...once the ten o'clock hour hits we are tortured by the Kathie Lee and Hoda Show posing as the Today Show. They are, I can only assume, paid oodles of money to sit around, eat chocolate, talk about their fabulous weekends, not to each other, but at each other and over each other. I think it has been about a year of them between ten and eleven in the morning and every time I stop and look for even a moment, they seem to really dislike each other.

Today I woke up early as usual and I went to sit on my couch. I wanted to read my book with some background noise so I left it on NBC. Everything was fine until all of a sudden, i felt really hostile and irritated. I looked at the TV and there they were. I flipped to the next channel, which was KTLA (which turns into theWB at night so you can imagine the quality of programming), and there was a Jerry Springer episode. I felt a sudden feeling of relief. Then I felt stressed that Springer was the better option. My dad once expressed to me his hatred for the Whitney Huston version of I Will Always Love You (an opinion I share with every ounce of my being, not only for the horrible song but also the vision of her with Kevin Costner in the movie from which the song spurt forth). He said that he thought all bank robberies occurred immediately after hearing that song on the radio. I suddenly understand exactly what he meant.

Other Worlds

So I have a problem (other than only posting once a month). Let me start over. I don't watch that much tv. Granted, I have a lot of shows that I watch religiously and sometimes I have been known to plan my week around them (shut up Lost, you know you own me) but overall, I don't really watch that much tv. There are some shows that I have never seen, or at least not a whole episode (Law and Order) and entire genres of television shows that I tend to blanketly avoid (cop shows and lawyer shows, which makes the lack of Law and Order in my life abundantly clear) I get really tired of the formula show (Law and Order, sorry it is just the best example for everything I don't like on television) which means that most of what I really like gets cancelled really quickly because Americans seem to want answers and predictability. I however, want to get lost and live in a different place even if it is just for thirty minutes to an hour a week.

The thing about the shows I do watch, I tend to get really involved and obsessed. The characters become real and they become my friends and neighbors. I am just about finished rewatching Six Feet Under, arguably one of the greatest shows that has been on television, cable or not. When I get to the last episode, it is almost inevitable that I will be really sad and lonely when I have to say goodbye to the Fishers. I will miss Claire and her art school freak friends, who are also my friends. And I will miss that crazy family. I become such a part of the world while I am watching that when I am done, things around me seem gray and dull. This is the burden with watching amazing shows. I don't think I would give it up though because it is nice to get away once in a while. The up side is, though, that I can start over again with episode one whenever I feel like it and I can be with the Fishers once again.

Worst Movie Watching Experiences

A few weeks ago, I came across an article on avclub.com (a geeks dream, books, music, movies, and games all in one place) in which some of the contributors wrote about their worst movie going experiences. Almost all of them had me laughing and shaking my head in agreement. And for anyone who views the cinema going experience as religious, like me, the article would hit close to home. I got to thinking about some of my truly horrible movie going experiences. (Here is the original article)
http://www.avclub.com/articles/avqa-worst-moviegoing-experiences,24745/

I know in my head which is the worst movie going experience. I have several that are close calls, or runner ups if you will, to the title of worst movie going experience that I cannot ignore. I cannot ever forget about going to see Drumline (but it can't win the title because I should have known better) or 8 Mile (still should have known better). I have seen plenty of movies with subtitles which seems to suggest to people "read me out loud". There was the time when I went to go see Connie and Carla with my mom. There were only two other people in the theater during the movie, two younger girls, maybe twenties. They decided that they would repeat all the lines in the movie immediately after they were said. This carried on for about two hours, or however long the movie was, the entire movie is what I am trying to say. My mom and I sushed continuously to no avail, only making it worse until one of the girls actually repeated a line from the movie to my mom. I don't remember the line, because honestly, the movie was not at all memorable, but it was somewhere along the lines of her voice was making their brain hurt. Luckily, as I said, the movie was not so great so it goes in the runner up file.

There was the time one of my friends almost got into a fist fight at the end of Elegy with an obviously mentally disturbed kid who called the movie Ghandi 2 (because of Ben Kingsley) as the lights went down, talked through the movie and then called the movie bourgeois bullshit (pronounced boo-jwa-zee) before the end credits started rolling, and then, as the credits started to roll, told my other friend to shut her fucking mouth in response to her telling the boy's mom that he should not ruin things for other people. My male friend did not appreciate that and got into a shouting match and was trying to jump over the sit to punch this kid in the face. Luckily for all involved, it was quite crowded and he could not get over the seat in time. On his way out the door, this kid, in addition to cursing out his parents, said "I'm going to Radiohead ya old fogies" and I said really quietly, "I like Radiohead". This could easily be the worst experience expect the main chaos occurred technically at the end of the movie. He was talking but it was kind of a mumbling off and on kind of thing and I have been through worse. What made it more shocking though, the whole event, was that this was at the fanciest cinema-phile movie in Los Angeles during a movie geared toward an older audience. But still, since I still got mostly enjoyment out of the movie, I put this in the runner up file.

For my worst movie watching experience I think I will have to go with Troy in North Carolina with my friend Melissa. This is a case of me not knowing just how good or bad this movie may or may not be because it was this horrible experience that taints everything about this movie. Even hearing the name or seeing the box on the shelf makes me emit a strange low growl. We purposely waited for this movie to be out for awhile and, on top of that, we waited until the middle of the week to try to give ourselves the best possible chances of a quiet, peaceful afternoon of movie watching (spending the majority of my movie going years to date in a small city with seemingly lower than average intelligence and two movie theaters both owned by the same company has lead to a sort of self defensiveness and preemptiveness in attending the theater). Unfortunately this particular Wednesday seemed to be movie day because the theater was packed. We moved a few times before the movie started because, let's face it, you can just tell. During the course of this three hour plus movie we moved no less than three more times. There was something strange happening in this audience on this particular day. No one could process thoughts internally. If it became a thought, we got to hear it. Seemingly, this was contagious. No matter where we sat, someone right next to us, or behind us had something to say. And trust me when I say, it was nothing smart or insightful. When the trojan horse was revealed to be a trap, some super observant soul in the back said, in a loud exclamation, "I knew that was going to happen", which led to a murmur of agreements from all over the theater. In one of our chosen rows a woman (who I was sure was a man for about an hour) could not stop grunting every single time Brad Pitt came on the screen. And let me tell you, that bastard had a lot of screen time, more than you would have realized unless you had a constant reminder of feral, horny grunting. At our final chosen seats (we gave up and stayed there because at that point, it was pretty loud in the theater, everyone having their own conversations, some about the movie, some about other stuff) I got to endure about an hour of chair kicking. I kept asking the lady behind me to stop kicking and she would for about a minute then start again. I asked in a more forceful manner when I just could not take it anymore and a woman about two rows up turned around to give me that "quiet you" look and I was like, no, it's not me, I swear, I am miserable. And then the kicking started again.

I think at one point maybe about half way through, we were trying to decide if we should leave and try again later but at that point was so over the movie that I really did not want to sit through the first half again. I sort of wanted the whole thing to be over. We took deep breaths and powered through, making it to the end. To this day, I have not been able to stomach re-watching the movie although I am slightly curious to know if it is bad as I think. All I remember is the Achilles fight sequence and Achilles dying (but maybe that is because of all the groans and hooting). So that is it, the worst movie watching experience I can think of, three plus hours of stupid comments, I knew that was going to happens, chair kicking, and Brad Pitt orgasms.